i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
