We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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