I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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