you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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