how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
