I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
