high people should be assigned attendants
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
