He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Alive.
So much puke
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
