god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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