Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
