i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
