I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she was so not down for the gang bang
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
