Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
