where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
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He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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