She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
