we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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