Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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