we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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