I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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