Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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