I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
