RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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