"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
