Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
