Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
