If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
