I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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