I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
