I need help removing her.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
