You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
