I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I love you.
Bad choice
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
