Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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