You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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