don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
