If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
