I bet he comes in French.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
