If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
