I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
