Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
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