i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
