How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
