im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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