we made out on top of his cat.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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