Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
