Who wears a wallet chain?!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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