we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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