im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
