I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
