I'm drive I can fine osifer
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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