So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
