im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
