Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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