you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
try to milk me bitch
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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