Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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