I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize