i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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