she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
