Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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