i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
