he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Come on in and take your pants off
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