I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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